Something Left Behind and Something Found Again
by starglow71
Summary: Sam is back but the Angel forgot something. Dean misses it and wants it back. Dean's take on Soulless!Sam and then Ensouled!Sam. Wincest. Tragedy and Schmoop. Some bad language and hints of violent thoughts included. R & R please.  Reposted as one story.
1. Sam

**This is part one of a two-shot short fanfic I came up with. I hated seeing Sam without his soul, I didn't like him much that way either. **

**Sam is back but Dean knows the truth about him. His soul is gone. He feels the pain of the loss of the real Sam and wants him back. His pain is eating him up inside. He would never take having a soul or the real Sam back at his side for granted ever again. If only he could have him back, this guy was a cheap imitation and not even a good one at that.**

**Warning: This is Wincest, hinted at but nothing outright graphic. There is some bad language and some graphic violent references included. It is mostly showing the ways that Sam was different than he was when he had a soul and how Dean felt having to deal with that lacking, and oh so vital part of Sam not being there.**

**Dean uses bad language when he's mad, and, with Robo-Sam, that is most of the time, trust me.**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It started with a Vampire turning Dean while _Sam_ watched on, smiliing.

It started a confused Truth goddess that demanded how _Sam_ was doing it, lying to her. Dean knew only one way that was possible and so did she. That's when he had known that something was really wrong with _Sam_.

It ended with Cas's hand in his brother's chest and Cas's terrified look when the Angel found nothing in there. His soul was not there, it was still in the cage.

Dean had felt the difference in _Sam_.

He had sensed it, like the storm brewing on the horizon, one that promised a typhoon but hadn't arrived yet, except Dean was sure it would and when it did, it would try to drown him.

He stared at the confused man in the chair and now knew.

It wasn't _Sam._

Oooooooooo

It had _Sam_'s face.

It had his body.

It used his voice.

It took quick showers not long ones and there was always hot water left. Dean never once wanted to join It except to maybe exercise the urge to slam It head- first into to porcelain walls, not enough to kill but to really give the lying son of a bitch a real migraine. He itched to hurt the thing masquerading as his brother, his only love.

It joined him for drinks and said nothing when Dean had drank too much. Dean couldn't bear to look at It when it did join him, it only made Dean drink more than he was already.

It ate burgers and fries, and baked potatoes smothers in cheese, sour cream, and bacon pieces, and tons of sugary stuff. It worked out in Its free time and didn't try to include Dean; they had worked out together before.

It watched porn and never blushed or turned it off when Dean entered the room.

It had grace and precision when it killed.

It never comforted the victims or gave 'Sammy Eyes' or bitchface. It didn't know how.

It never flinched or bitched when It was hurt and was being stitched up, or was having bones reset, or was having something popped back in place. It did most of those things itself, never once thinking Dean might be able to help it or want to, which Dean didn't anyway.

Its eyes never once lit up with that look that said 'You just did something stupid and I'm going to make fun of you for it until you make me stop.' Its eyes were always empty and emotionless unless they were conning information out of witnesses. Robo-_Sam _was good at that, Dean ground his teeth every time It did that.

It never smiled in its sleep.

It would have sex with random women. It never offered a kind word or charming gesture when it kicked them out of the room right afterward.

It never called Dean '_Jerk_' . That had been Sammy's thing not its.

It walked like _Sam_ but not quite like _Sam_.

It talked like _Sam_ and sounded fake, cold even.

When It rode in the Impala, It never complained about the music or the volume of that music. It stared straight ahead the whole time.

It took its own car on hunts sometimes and sped ahead of Dean's Impala, never giving him the chance to catch up to it, not that Dean wanted to. They took separate cars since Dean's skin crawled with revulsion around it now.

It never joked with him or laughed, or smiled with that little dimple, showing its rows of perfect white teeth that its soft lips which framed them so perfectly.

_Sam_ wasn't in there.

It looked and smelled like _Sam_ but it wasn't _Sam_.

It was the deadliest and coldest Hunter he had ever seen.

It was graceful and was proficient when hunting.

It was distant and always calm when not hunting, nothing getting in or out of it.

It barely talked or interacted with Dean at all.

Dean felt its shell and the emptiness within it.

It never noticed when Dean was uncertain or worried. It just didn't care.

It never asked if Dean was okay when he tried to hide he was injured or hurt.

It didn't feel like _Sam_.

It wasn't a shifter who had taken his form.

It wasn't a demon possessing him, like Meg had done.

It was an empty shell.

It wasn't_ Sam_.

Ooooooooo

Dean fought side by side with It. He hated it. He hated that _Sam _wasn't in there. This was a pale imitation of him. It had started pretending to be _Sam _but then had given up once Dean had found out the truth. It said it wanted its soul back but it lied with every word.

It drove on ahead of Dean's Impala to Samuel's compound to get more information. Dean took the long route there. He was in no hurry to join it.

He felt the pain settle around his heart and ignored it. He let the hate begin to fill him but yet was not able to allow it to overcome his love for his true brother and his soul-mate, his missing piece was still missing and it hurt to realize. His _Sam'_s soul still down in the cage and his _Sam_'s shell up and about like a robot that looked like him but wasn't.

He tightened his jaw and drove on, not feeling himself breaking with every tick of the odometer.

He felt sick with the truth of it.

It wasn't _Sam_.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

**Dean knows the being that he is living with is not Sam. He is not taking it well.**

**Please review and let me know if you liked. **

**There will be a second part to this called 'Sammy' which will talk about when Sam gets his soul back. I made this a two part short fic.**

**I welcome all reviews, good and bad, just please be constructive, flaming doesn't help me or you at all.**


	2. Sammy

**(Sequel to 'Sam', Please read that first then this, this is part two of that short fic. This is my first two-part fanfic, so I hope you like it.)**

**Dean's thoughts on Sam getting his soul back finally after having to deal with Robo-Sam for so long.**

**Warning: Wincest, but only hinted at. Not much language this time around. Dean is feeling happier now that Sammy has his soul back. **

**Schmoop alert!**

ooooooooooo

It started with almost killing their adopted Father, Bobby.

It started with Dean having to go through his own brother trying to beat him to death, literally trying to pummel him into the bloody carpet beneath them.

It ended with putting a glowing ball of light into the unconscious man by putting a metaphysical hand into his brother's chest.

He had felt the difference in him.

He had sensed it, like the sun coming up over the water at Sunset, or a rainbow that shimmered in the sky without its pot of Gold, except Dean was sure this time, there was a pot of gold and he had finally found it.

He stared at the confused man in the chair and now knew.

It was his _Sammy._

Oooooooooo

He had _Sammy_'s face.

He had his body.

He used his voice and sounded like him.

He took long showers and there was never any hot water left. Dean often joined him now though, happy to have him back.

He sometimes joined him for drinks and nagged at him when he thought Dean had drunk too much or just enough.

He ate salads and grilled chicken, and very little sugary stuff.

He watched porn and always blushed then turned the TV off quickly when Dean entered the room, like a naughty child caught looking at Daddy's porn mags. "Awkward!" was still the joking response that they both knew but now Sammy pulled Dean to him to sit near him and turned the tv off; wanting to let Dean know he was the one for him, no one else ever had been, just Dean.

He was slow to kill and always blinked a little every time he did.

He comforted the victims and gave '_Sammy_ Eyes'. Boy, he had those things down to an art. They were his specialty, his bread and butter. He was Picasso and Rembrandt with those eyes.

He flinched or bitched when He was hurt and was being stitched up, or was having bones reset, or was having something popped back in place.

His eyes sparkled with that look that said 'You just did something stupid and I'm going to make fun of you for it until you make me stop.' Especially when they had prank wars on each other, which were now fun as hell now that he was in there, his _Sammy _was really in there again.

He smiled in his sleep.

He made love to Dean and shared his bed with Dean, good thing too, Dean would have hurt him bad if he had tried to touch him when he was the Robo-Sam and not his _Samm_y.

He called Dean _'Jerk'_ and gave him that soft smile when he did, his way of saying 'I Love You, too. Yes, I'm being a girl right now but I don't care.' Dean had the same way of avoiding 'Chick Flick' moments, he did the same thing to _Sammy_ but they both knew what was there between the line, the truth underneath those two little one syllable words, '_Bitch_' and '_Jerk_'.

He walked like _Sammy_ but now there was more of a jaunt to it, a nuance the only the real Sammy had.

He talked like _Sammy _and there was so much passion or shyness, or other emotions behind them. He didn't sound calm all the damn time and he didn't stare through you not seeing you when he talked; you knew he was looking at you, talking to you, and he made sure you knew it was you he was talking to.

He rode in the Impala again complaining about the music or the volume of that music. He wanted to listen to girly music again and often did if Dean left him alone in the car for too long.

He joked with him or laughed, or smiled with that little dimple, showing the rows of perfect white teeth that His soft lips framed so perfectly.

They didn't take separate cars anymore. Dean's skin didn't crawl with revulsion around Him now. He sold the Civic, seeing no need for separate cars and they enjoyed traveling across the country and hunting things together again, like he used to before Lucifer took him away from Dean and left Dean bleeding and crying against the Impala's wheel, both their hearts breaking as _Sammy _was taken from him into that damn hole, which closed behind them, dividing them for what Dean had thought would be forever.

_Sammy _was in there, finally.

He looked and smelled like him but there was a glow of life there that hadn't been there when he wasn't _Sammy_.

He was his lover again, his brother again, his hunting partner again, and the second part to their two-man hunting team. He was still the best Hunter that Dean had ever seen.

He was sometimes clumsy but sometimes graceful depending on the day and was still proficient off and on the hunt. He was not as cold-blooded and calculating as he had been when he wasn't in there.

He talked a lot and really cared to try to talk things out when they had to. He wasn't too bad at creating Girly moments and damned if that suited Dean from the tip of his head to the core of his soul, which he had given so much of to keep _Sammy_ safe and with him.

Dean felt _Sammy's _love and warmth and, most of all, how full of life he was again.

He spoke with love or kind gestures when Dean was uncertain or worried.

He asked if Dean was okay when he tried to hide he was injured. He cared.

He felt like _Sammy_.

He wasn't a shifter who had taken his form.

He wasn't a demon possessing him, like Meg had done.

He wasn't an empty shell, not anymore.

He was_ Sammy_.

Ooooooooo

Dean pulled his brother into a hug and kissed him with all his heart and soul, so damn happy to have him back instead of that cheap imitation he had lived with for so long. He held _Sammy_ tight, afraid this might be a dream. He had often had moment like this in dreams when _Sammy_'s soul was gone and had woken up with a bitter taste in his mouth when he found out it hadn't been real. He held him tight because that shell had walked with him and talked with him and tried to kill him, twice. He held his _Sammy_ because he was afraid this might, just might not last, Sammy would vanish if he let go.

He held on to him because it was the only thing holding him together right now. He hadn't known how broken he had been without _Sammy_ until now.

He held onto him and cried, his brokenness echoing in every sob.

_Sammy_ held his brother and soothed him, holding him even closer, rubbing his back and head, and telling him that he, _Sammy_, was here, he wasn't going anywhere. He wouldn't leave him again. He wanted to ask why he cried, he wanted to ask what the hell had happened to shatter his brother's heart this way, and most of all he wanted to know what had happened to him for almost a year and half. _Sammy_, however, asked none of those things. He just held his sobbing brother who had him in a death grip so strong he could feel the bruises forming right now. Dean cried some more, so many emotions in those sounds, in those tears, things he never could express with words but somehow _Sammy_ now heard anyway, and smiled, trying to heal his brother's pain and possibly a lot of his own.

This was Dean, his Big Brother , Best Friend, and Soulmate. His Ally against the World.

He was Dean's _Sammy_.

Oooooooooo

Please review and let me know what you think.

It's Wincest, hope you don't mind too much, just warning you.


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